Life is spinning, sometimes above sometimes below. Now, i think it is running up to pass the test. Yap just thinking, cause in fact i haven't passed the test, test in myself, especially in my attitude. Test in patience, sincerity, accept circumstances without much protest, and selfishness. I haven't graduated. Not yet.
Why? Why I always selfish with this situation? Why i always pesimistic? Why i always suspicious? There so many why in my mind.
Now, i'm the bad one. For what? Cause i lost my faith, i always discussing the past, i always chide with all my evil thoughts, i always test it. I'm the antagonist now, and they are the underdog. No one believes that they are wrong, no one believes that they act outrageous. That there's only me who dramatize this situation exaggregate this problem.
But, i don't know why i did it. I hope everything is finished, everything gonna be alright. I don't want to be the worst one, and lose everything. Losing myself and all of my idealism, my identity. I really really miss the old me. Hey you, where are you now. I miss you so much. Come, come here and help me. Help me not to be a loser.
I know, the reason is disappointment. Disappointed cause it doesn't work as should be. I cannot blame anyone. I just can blame myself maybe as they do, cause all of my selfish, my fault.
I want to finish it all. I wanted to stop ignoring them. I want to get back into my old self . No. I want to be better. I want to be a good one. I want to live my life properly now. I want to appreciate all that I've got. I'll do my best, to get the best, not be the best. I'll do everything i can. Cause the greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you can't do.
Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. -John Wooden-
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar